This is one of those annoying things that I am elated that I never have to do again. First dates are one of the most annoying things on the planet. Recently, I was sitting in Starbucks just typing away on my MacBook Pro when I noticed a couple sitting several chairs away from me. This couple was obviously not too far away from the “hi, my name is Frank” stage. All of the uncomfortable first date signs were there.
- Random stupid questions like “so what do you do?”
- The man could not get comfortable and find his “I look cool by sitting like this” pose. Instead he was trying to figure out where to put his hands…which came off as looking uncomfortable.
- She could not get that “I’m really listening” smile off her face. I think it was actually stuck there for the rest of the night.
- Continuous small talk that had no real destination.
- I am pretty sure both of them were shaking uncontrollably.
- Fake interest in subjects that they have no experience in to keep the conversation running.
Like I said…all of the first date signs were there. I was actually feeling uncomfortable for them! We have all been down that road and it is why some people keep on putting up with annoying companions just so they do not have to go through that first date ever again.
The entire time you are on a first date, you have so many thoughts running through your head that the entire night is a blur.
He is probably thinking…
- Does she really like me or is she just being nice?
- Should I go for the hug or the kiss? What if I miss? Will she think I am a dork if I miss? What if she doesn’t want me to? Maybe I should just order dinner first…
- Am I going to get lucky? Maybe…I need to…it’s been awhile…
- If I ask for her number is she going to give it to me?
- Is she really having fun or just saying she is to get through the night and I am going to be “that guy” that she tells all her girlfriends about?
- I shouldn’t have worn this shirt…I’ll put my hands here…no here…no here…I’ll just lean back…no forward…to the left…no the right…I CAN’T MAKE UP MY MIND!
- She looks nothing like that picture on the Internet.
She is probably thinking…
- Is he just being nice to me to get in my pants?
- Why is he moving all over the place?
- Is he going to go for the kiss or the hug? What if I miss? Is he going to think I am stupid if I miss? What time is he picking me up again?
- I hate this place…”yeah…this place is great!”
- He looks nothing like that picture on the Internet.
The first date I was watching actually go to the point where she said this…
“Wow…this place is really nice inside” It’s freakin’ Starbucks…they are all the same! I could not watch it anymore as I was physically uncomfortable for both of them. Thankfully, I convinced a lucky woman that it was a good idea to marry me (joke is on her…sorry babe!) and I never have to go through that uncomfortable situation ever again. To all of those out there who do…I’m sorry…I feel for you! First dates have to be one of the most annoying, uncomfortable situations on the planet.
ha ha … yeah I remember those days .. good times
You almost want to trip the waiter next to them just to break the ice for them. However, it would suck if instead of breaking the ice you break her face because the waiter’s tray hits her and spills hot soup all over him. Then he sues. Then you ask him for money because you were the “original pranksta.” Then it turns into a huge lawsuit. You punch him, he groin kicks you. You go to jail. You get molested. You get out. You kill him. You’re now on the run in Mexico never to return to the US. Yet you do. You’re caught. Tried for murder. Left to rot in prison forever.
Don’t mess with a first date as annoying as they may be.
What annoys me, are people who use the Starbucks as their personal office, typing away on their little Mac. Now, Starbucks has Wi-Fi, so I guess they invite that kind of activity, but what REALLY annoys me is finding out that those people are actually spying on the other patrons and writing sanctimonious blogs in which they project their own insecurities onto those people who are just trying to enjoy themselves.
@Zen Master
Funny that you mentioned the annoyance of people typing away in Starbucks…because that annoys the hell out of me too and I was doing it. Future content there.
Re-read the post again…pointing out my annoyance with first dates and glad I don’t have to go through that anymore. I feel for people that have to because it is not an easy thing to go through. If we can’t laugh at ourselves…we can’t laugh at anyone else. We have to be able to find humor in our lives…
Lighten up Francis and welcome from the Auburn board!
“Lighten Up Francis” should be the new sub-heading of this website.
Another thing that annoys me, though, is that whenever I move my cursor towards the “leave a comment” link it inevitably coasts over the “tell a friend” link that causes a drop down menu to cover up the “leave a comment link”.
@Zen Master
Thanks for pointing that out. I deactivated it until I can code it to align right.