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This Place Would Fall Apart Without Me

The Perfect EmployeeAh…the infamous co-worker that is so confident in their abilities that they really believe that the company would just fall apart without their abundance of value and commitment. You know this worker. He is probably sitting over your shoulder right now telling you any or all of the following:

  • How he knows everything.
  • How busy he is.
  • How his boss doesn’t know what he is talking about.
  • How he would do everything differently and it would be soo much better!
  • How hard he works.
  • How no one else can do what he does.
  • One of his fantastic “if it wasn’t for me…” stories.
  • The list goes on and on…

And what is this model employee doing while he is telling you all of this invaluable information? He is planning the next encounter with another co-worker to give them all of this fantastic knowledge! In other words…nothing! If these employees would spend half the amount of time actually working instead of telling everyone how great they are…they might actually deliver on a few of the promises that they broadcast all over the world!

This is one of those annoying co-workers that really believe their value to the company is like no one else’s. If they ever decide to walk out that door, everything is going to fall apart and this incredible firm that built itself up before they even thought about applying for the job will crumble and file chapter 11 with this absence of this employees marvelous intellect.

It makes me laugh every time. Guess what invaluable employee…the company was doing fine before you…and it will probably be better off without you! So you can save your incredibly fascinating stories about how great you are…and attempt to get some actual work done.

I am not sure what really causes this need to publicly display one’s greatness to the world. Maybe it is insecurity in their own true value…maybe they don’t wear the pants in the family at home…maybe they have extremely low self worth and feed off the praise and acceptance of others…maybe they like to put other people down to feel better about themselves…I don’t know. All I do know is…it is absolutely annoying to listen to someone tell you how great they are and how hard they work (harder than you will ever understand) on a daily basis! How can you be working so hard if all you are doing is telling me how hard you work?

You are right…this place will just fall apart without you…so Mr. I Am So Great…why don’t you just leave and quit annoying the rest of us?!

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2 Comments Write a comment ↓

  1. Justin Shattuck
    09. Mar, 2009 at 11:56 am #

    Robb,

    Wow I could not agree more with this intelligent RANT against the annoying clowns and tards that end up filling cubicle space with their hot air and nonsense. Woot!

  2. The Z Man
    09. Mar, 2009 at 12:47 pm #

    You need to watch Brian Regan’s “I Walked on the Moon” That addresses these self-proclaimed “Me Monsters”

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