I am browsing through my Facebook miscellaneous time wasters the other day and as I am checking out the status time line to see who is doing what. All of the sudden, I see something very strange in the right sidebar. Do you want to become a fan of sleeping? Interesting…who isn’t a fan of sleeping? At some point in time in our lives we are all a fan of sleeping. It seems kind of odd to have a whole page dedicated to all that is sleep and its pure greatness in this world. I didn’t think much of it and moved on to commenting random thoughts of pure genius on other people’s wall o’ thoughts.

Again, I come back to the home screen to check on more status updates because in our instant information world…we have to know what everyone is doing right then or we will lose our freakin’ minds. On my right column there is a new box…do you want to become a fan of Jesus? Are you serious? Did Jesus really come down and say…

You know what? I am having kind of a slow day. I’ll create a Facebook fan page!

Does it make me sacrilegious do not become a fan of Jesus? On that day where all of my life decisions come into question at the pearly gates of heaven, am I not going to gain entrance into eternal bliss because I didn’t become a fan on Facebook?

I’m sorry Robb. We would love to let you in, but you never became a fan of me. You had your chance man…sorry!

Are people going to think differently of me if I don’t become a fan? What if I hold those beliefs but don’t want to profess them on Facebook? After 5 minutes of the internal mind/thought circling…I let it go and went about my business. Then it hit…

• Do you want to become a fan of God?
• Do you want to become a fan of the beach?
• Do you want to become a fan of I need a vacation?
• Do you want to become a fan of I love sleep (not just sleep like before).

This is insanity and it needs to stop! What happened to becoming a fan of sports teams or tv shows? Do I really have to be a fan of everything I like in life or can I just enjoy it and move on? Whoever is creating all of these fan pages needs to have their keyboard taken away….

Do you want to be 1 of 3,404,204 people that are a fan of “I need a vacation”?

No…I am not talking about the fantastic meat substitute that we have all grown to know and love. I am talking about those despicable lines of text that grace everyone of our email boxes, blog comment sections, mailboxes and any other information sources on a daily basis. These spammers, with no sense of human dignity, plague everything that is right in the world by completely shoving useless information, links and product pitches down the throat of uninterested readers on a daily basis. What makes you think that I need Viagra? Or that I want 463 emails telling me how great your price is? No…I didn’t know that I inherited a whole pile of money somewhere in Africa! All you need is all of my personal information and you will send it right over?! Sweet! It must be my lucky day because I also won a European lottery that I didn’t even know I entered!!!

The sad part about spam is that it probably really works on some poor sap that doesn’t realize what he is getting into. The only reason we get this incredibly useless lines of code delivered to that inbox that we hold so closely to our hearts is because of that 0.5% that actually clicks and buys something or gives away everything that they wouldn’t even give a family member (sn #, credit card #, etc) in the hope that they can quit that 9-5 they hate so much with all of this free money. So really…I am not sure what is more annoying…the spam emails or the idiots who perpetuate the madness by actually believing what they read. Honestly…I would like to see both fly off into the far reaches of space so that my email inbox and blogs can rest from the 19,188 spam comments I have had to delete this year.

Check out this latest spam comment on one of my blogs…(urls removed)

Interested in Granny boot? Right place for it! Masturbation lubricities! Url Was Here
Best reviews of the day about Lesbos, Hentai tt, Lesbos pissing and Busty cleavage.
Url Was Here
Discuss the topic Topless ] here! Raylene anal! Url Was Here

Are you kidding me?! I can’t believe we have to actually put up with this immoral waste of internet space. Now…because of this insanity…I have to apply filters to my inbox, plug-ins to my blogs and monitor everything like the CIA to make sure that I don’t get a virus or have someone think that I am actually affiliated with something like “Masturbation lubicities”.

Spammers are the scum of the Earth and from now on…they should be treated that way….

I, personally, sit here this late evening after a full day of medical charades and prodding.  To be quite honest, the morning and afternoon were full of medicated naps, pain numbing dope sessions, and a variety of prescription cocktails to help everything move along.  I must say, the day went by pretty quickly.  Unfortunately, I missed the link shuffling and conversation bibble-babble of a seemingly unpopular message board.

Let’s put this into proper perspective:

“Hey man what’s going on, how you feeling,” Robb asked politely over the telephone.  “Just sleeping,” shortly followed by an immediate *CLICK* as I hung up the phone.  Now I don’t really remember this, but what I do remember is seeing the “Missed Call from Robb Sutton,” on my telephone later this evening.  Once I get Robb back on the line we laugh a little and he informs me of a little game currently taking place on our beautiful internet.

I don’t have much to say in this article and for those not keen on what I’m referring to, don’t feel bad — you are not missing much!  However, for those of you, primarily a simple individual who calls himself “Dawgzilla,” a vanity alias that probably refers to his inability to find pleasure in beautiful women, yet prefers the simple pleasures and tastes of our k-nine companions, “what the hell?”  Do you honestly believe you are going to make a negative impact against something that has nothing to lose?

I must admit, you did make an impression, and a poor one at best.  But, on behalf of Robb Sutton and myself (Justin Shattuck — the name clearly displayed at the top of this article, not hidden by a vanity..) we want to thank you for generously sending us the fair amount of traffic today.  It seems as though your poor spirit, low self-worth, and unfortunate attempt to slander our beautiful names has really just fed the ugly monster you call “pathetic!”  But keep on trucking buddy, we’re sure one day you will find something useful to do with your time other than mingle with us poor, misleading, negative, well-off internet folk.

To the rest of the internet world who actually understand what, why, and the other various reasons behind this website, carry on as you always have!  We appreciate your support and are definitely curious about What Annoys You.  I probably do not have to continue on with my rant much more than I already have, but we do want to formally say Thank You for all those who clue in and enjoy.  And remember, this website is a demonstration of the antics, traints, characteristcs and behavioral nuisances that occur in everday life.  Ultimately, they bring much entertainment and cynical humor to our lives.  It’s satire people.. satire.. get with the program dude!

Having people rant about you aimlessly somewhere online is flattering, so feel special, I know we do. Only we actually.. well.. get something out of it.. you just look like a used hand puppet — THE END!