We all  know this kind…the one that would rather do it himself than have someone that actually knows what they are doing complete the job. He asks you on a regular basis “why pay someone else when I can do it myself? How hard could it be?” This master plumber, electrician, auto mechanic and wood worker would rather do the job 5 times wrong spending 3 times as much money than suck up his pride for 3 freakin’ seconds and pay someone to do the job correctly or actually take the time and effort to ask someone who knows what they are doing. This ingenious worker really does believe that a 12 pack of Budweiser and a little elbow grease can conquer even the most difficult jobs without the aid of actual knowledge of the subject at hand. It doesn’t have to last for forever…just long enough to show the wife that I was actually smart enough to complete the job! I’ll show her who the man in the house is! How dare she roll her eyes at me and say, “yeah…suuuureeee you can do it. I’ll get the yellow pages ready…”

The Story Behind This Rant

So we bought this house…it is a great house and I am happy with 99.9% of it. We had a incredible inspection done before purchasing (by the head of the inspection agency) so the vitals are all correct and in tact. I would not have even bought the house if I thought there was something wrong with it or if it was going to be more than a slight annoyance that I would have to fix. There are just a couple of things…especially in the garage…that you look at with one of those WTF moments. What the hell was he thinking when he did this? Are you serious? You call these cabinets? Why are there 30 joints in a 9 foot stretch of copper tube?! Running wiring on the outside of drywall? That doesn’t even make sense! Time to gut and start over!

It is my belief that you should have a license to do it yourself. There should be some sort of test that you have to pass before you can purchase more than 5 tools at one time or any tool above $100. That way…when someone goes to actually use whatever you have tried to ruin, the damage will not be as bad as it could be. There is absolutely nothing more annoying that having to redo the work of others and this would be drastically reduced with the introduction of a do-it-yourself’er test. I can only imagine what experts think when these do-it-yourself experts have them fix what they have spent hours messing up. Once you pass the test…you are good to go! If you fail…no tools for you! And no…if you fail the test, you can not park in the handicap parking spots at Home Depot, so don’t even ask!